I Killed a Deer Today as I Was Jogging Through the Woods.

What had happened was that I got tired of it chasing me around, so i turned around and, just like I was taught in the many dirty club fights i've been in, i punched it in the snout and simultaneously elbowed it in the neck in one fatal move. I was quite proud of my victory and my dad enjoyed the brief changes that were made to the menu. Deer, the other furry cotton-tailed meat.


A Good, Firm Criminal Background.

While everyone else in the 8th grade was learning to shoplift, I was out in the mall parking lot hotwiring their parents cars and parking them on the opposite side of the mall. Just like when you put your kids into sports, it's good to get a head start on the competition at a young age and place your kids into more advanced lessons than they should be able to handle.


Night Terrors

Sometimes i wake up in the morning and say "Fuck it, I'm going out tonight!!" Usually about a week later I somehow straggle home.

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That's Music To My Prostate!

Not Caring isn't gay but when he sits on a subwoofer at a club he totally understands.


With all these cops around, who could feel safe?

As if my bad habits weren't enough troublemakers, now even my good qualities, like my ability to get you from point A to point B in a timely and punctual fashion, are being called into check.



If marijuana were legal, what would potheads dream of?
If marijuana were legal, what would become of all the good smoking spots?
If marijuana were legal, what would our conspiracy theories be like?
If marijuana were legal, what would happen to our dirty records?
If marijuana were legal, what would i be talking about right now?

Why So Glum Sugarbum?

Unfortunately for me, Facebook no longer recognizes me for who I really am, they have turned me into a Prince, more precisely I am now the entity formerly known as Not Caring. But even though I have been known to not care at great depths, i also don't care to sit down and take this sort of outcasting. Since I gave up stealing so long ago, I no longer condone that sort of thing, especially if the theft is from me and the burglar is a large corporation. So here it is, I was forced to commit to a blog.