Amanda Knox Didn't Do It

Really though, America is on the forefront of racial eradication.

Kim & Kris' Krazy Wedding

While you all sat and watched Kim & Kris walk the aisle last night, the American equivalent of a wedding of royalty, i chose to pop in a family video remember Kim Kardashian in her best and most common role of being a bicycle for up-and-coming black entertainers.

I used to believe there was order in this world, that reasonable people were in command and steering the advancement of industry in the proper direction, but then I found out that assortment of ringed goodness found in Multi-Grain Cheerios® are no more equal than the perfect woman's breasts. I've just been getting high and trying to cope ever since.<br class="khtml-block-placeholder">

If movies from the 70s have taught us anything its that all buildings are ventilated well enough to smoke weed in the bathrooms. All of them.<br class="khtml-block-placeholder">

I don't believe in the "Life isn't Fair" principle; if life wasn't fair we wouldn't all be homeless, we'd be at the bottom of the food chain.

Getting off probation is a lot like turning the legal drinking age, nothing really changes in your lifestyle, but you just can't get in as much trouble when you do get caught anymore, I guess that's what they call maturing.<br>

Hangover Medication

Waking up the next afternoon from a seven hour drug fueled afterparty, the best way to get rid of that hangover and the shakes is to gather up whatever remaining drugs you have left and just roll them all up into one massive joint that you can share with whoever you woke up with and/or is still alive that is not a donkey, and then go get some pho.

As a recap:

normal 0.3g marijuana joint
add a dash of cocaine or heroin, or both if that's your thing
whatever prescriptive opiates should be crushed up at this point and sprinkled in.
Mix the leftover ecstasy into your orange juice
Pho